212 Innocence and Expertence [FICTION Put Hey, in front of you on your lap,I ordered, and hold both her wrists. the child let out a scream. Don't. Let'sgo's bigging. Frands. Let them go I tell you, Then she shrieked terrifyingly, hysterically/Stop it! Stop it!You're killing me! . Do you think she can stand it, doctor!said the mother. : You.get out, said the husband to his wife Do you want her to die of diphthe- ria? Come on now, hold her, I said. Then I grasped the child's head with my left hand and tried to get the wooden tongue depressor between her teeth. She fought, with clenched teeth, desper- ately! But now I also had grown furious -at a child. I tried to hold myself down but I couldn't. I know how to expose a throat for inspection. And I did my best. When finally I got the wooden spatula behind the last teeth and just the point of it into the mouth cavity,she opened up for an instant but before I could see anything she came down again and gripping the wooden blade between her molars she reduced it to splinters before I could get it out again. Aren't you ashamed, the mother yelled at her.Aren't you ashamed to act like that in front of the doctor? Get me a smooth-handled spoon of some sort,I told the mother. We're going through with this. The child's mouth was already bleeding. Her tongue was cut and she was screaming in wild hysterical shrieks Perhaps I should have desisted and come back in an hour or more.No doubt it would have been better. But I have seen at least two children lying dead in bed of neglect in such cases, and feeling that I must get a diagnosis now or never I went at it again.But the worst of it was that I too had got beyond reason. I could have torn the child apart in my own fury and enjoyed it. It was pleasure to attack her. My face was burning with it. The dammed little brat must be protected against her own idiocy, one says to one's self at such times. Others must be protected against her. It is a social necessity. And all these things are true. But a blind fury, a feeling of adult shame, bred of a longing for muscular release are the operatives. One goes on to the end. In a final unreasoning assault I overpowered the child's neck and jaws. I forced the heavy silver spoon back of her teeth and down her throat till she gagged. And there it was-both tonsils covered with membrane. She had fought valiantly to keep me from knowing her secret.She had been hiding that sore throat for three days at least and lying to her parents in order to escape just such an outcome as this. Now truly she was furious. She had been on the defensive before but now she attacked. Tried to get off her father's lap and fly at me while tears of defeat blinded her eyes. QUESTIONS AND SUGGESTIONS FOR WRITING 1. In a paragraph, characterize the narrator, including a comment on the narrator's de. gree of self-awareness as he writes the piece. 2. Fiction usually deals with conflict. In this story there is an obvious conflict between

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212 Innocence and Expertence [FICTION Put Hey, in front of you on your lap,I ordered, and hold both her wrists. the child let out a scream. Don't. Let'sgo's bigging. Frands. Let them go I tell you, Then she shrieked terrifyingly, hysterically/Stop it! Stop it!You're killing me! . Do you think she can stand it, doctor!said the mother. : You.get out, said the husband to his wife Do you want her to die of diphthe- ria? Come on now, hold her, I said. Then I grasped the child's head with my left hand and tried to get the wooden tongue depressor between her teeth. She fought, with clenched teeth, desper- ately! But now I also had grown furious -at a child. I tried to hold myself down but I couldn't. I know how to expose a throat for inspection. And I did my best. When finally I got the wooden spatula behind the last teeth and just the point of it into the mouth cavity,she opened up for an instant but before I could see anything she came down again and gripping the wooden blade between her molars she reduced it to splinters before I could get it out again. Aren't you ashamed, the mother yelled at her.Aren't you ashamed to act like that in front of the doctor? Get me a smooth-handled spoon of some sort,I told the mother. We're going through with this. The child's mouth was already bleeding. Her tongue was cut and she was screaming in wild hysterical shrieks Perhaps I should have desisted and come back in an hour or more.No doubt it would have been better. But I have seen at least two children lying dead in bed of neglect in such cases, and feeling that I must get a diagnosis now or never I went at it again.But the worst of it was that I too had got beyond reason. I could have torn the child apart in my own fury and enjoyed it. It was pleasure to attack her. My face was burning with it. The dammed little brat must be protected against her own idiocy, one says to one's self at such times. Others must be protected against her. It is a social necessity. And all these things are true. But a blind fury, a feeling of adult shame, bred of a longing for muscular release are the operatives. One goes on to the end. In a final unreasoning assault I overpowered the child's neck and jaws. I forced the heavy silver spoon back of her teeth and down her throat till she gagged. And there it was-both tonsils covered with membrane. She had fought valiantly to keep me from knowing her secret.She had been hiding that sore throat for three days at least and lying to her parents in order to escape just such an outcome as this. Now truly she was furious. She had been on the defensive before but now she attacked. Tried to get off her father's lap and fly at me while tears of defeat blinded her eyes. QUESTIONS AND SUGGESTIONS FOR WRITING 1. In a paragraph, characterize the narrator, including a comment on the narrator's de. gree of self-awareness as he writes the piece. 2. Fiction usually deals with conflict. In this story there is an obvious conflict between

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1. The narrator in this piece is a medical professional, likely a doctor, who is dealing with a highly stressful and emotionally charged situation involving a child patient. The narrator exhibits a high degree of self-awareness, recognizing their own emotions and the intensity of the situation. They understand the necessity of their actions but also acknowledge the irrationality and fury that comes with it. The narrator's detailed description of their thoughts and actions suggests a deep introspection and an awareness of the moral and ethical complexities involved in their profession.

2. Fiction usually deals with conflict, and in this story, the primary conflict is between the narrator (the doctor) and the child patient. This conflict is driven by the child's illness and the doctor's desperate need to diagnose and treat her. The tension between the doctor's professional duty and their personal feelings of anger and frustration highlights the emotional struggle they are undergoing. Additionally, there is an underlying conflict between the doctor and the parents, particularly the mother, who questions the doctor's methods and expresses shame and guilt. This multi-layered conflict adds depth to the narrative and underscores the challenges faced by medical professionals in such critical situations.

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